


Pumpkin Spice

by The_Sickfic_Sideblog



Series: Halloween Week 2017 [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack, Gen, Pumpkin Spice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 13:08:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12482300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Sickfic_Sideblog/pseuds/The_Sickfic_Sideblog
Summary: The universe is saved and the Alteans touch down on Earth. Some foods and spices have...interesting effects on them.





	Pumpkin Spice

**Author's Note:**

> Calling this one a crack fic because I don't know how else to tag 2am drabbles about catnipped Alteans.

The Castleship touched down on Earth in the heat of July, giving Lance and Hunk two months to introduce the Alteans to Earth food before a curve ball was thrown into the game. Their plan was to divide and conquer - Lance more or less took the western hemisphere, and Hunk took the eastern hemisphere. Every night was a new food for the Alteans - sushi, curry, hamburgers, kolacky, empanadas, platanos fritos, any staple of a culture was at their table at some point.

But then there was breakfast, lunch, dessert, snacks, drinks, everything else! Even with working out and differing gravity, Allura and Coran were positive they’d gained ten pounds within a few weeks.

And then September came.

And the Pumpkin Spice Latte returned.

Pidge was adamantly against it, despite being a coffee drinker. “It’s way overrated and made too much of a big deal. Sure, it’s  _ good _ , but it’s nothing to go crazy over.”

Hunk respectfully disagreed. “I mean, I hate the taste, but it’s become such a huge part of our culture at this point that we can’t  _ not _ give them one.”

Thus sparked a trip to the local Starbucks, and the Alteans found themselves sat down in a quiet corner with warm cups of PSL in front of them. They waited patiently, not drinking until Hunk gave them a small bit of background information as he usually did.

“This is a pumpkin spice latte. Warm milk, some coffee, and...well, generally some pumpkin stuff? It’s kind of unclear, but they call it pumpkin spice and most of the United States goes nuts for it.”

Coran eyed the drink. “How did they fit a whole pumpkin in there? Those gourds you showed us were rather large.”

“No, it’s artificial flavoring. They didn’t juice a pumpkin, it’s not like carrot juice.”

“It certainly smells delicious.” Allura smiled, using the drink to warm her hands. She wasn’t entirely fond of the change in seasons down on Earth.

“Well, go on then!” Hunk sat down across from them, always eager to watch their faces. After a few really good reactions, he’d taken to filming them and keeping them for the team.

The Alteans tapped their cups together and sipped in unison. Hunk was very grateful that he didn’t have to warn them about hot coffee anymore, not after Coran’s burnt tongue.

Allura set the cup down and blinked. She stared at the cup, as if wondering if Coran was actually right and they managed to squeeze a big pumpkin in there. She sipped again, looking much more satisfied as her ears flicked in happiness.

Coran didn’t have nearly as calm of a response. “What did you call this again?”

“Pumpkin Spice Latte. It’s the pumpkin spice that you’re tasting.”

“Pumpkin spice...” he mused, a huge grin growing on his face, “This is probably the best drink I’ve had on this planet yet!”

Allura nodded with exaggeration, mouth too occupied with chugging to verbally agree. Hunk died a little on the inside, he hoped they would be on the anti-pumpkin-spice crew with him, but that didn’t matter all too much. They wouldn’t end up hyper-obsessed with it like the media was.

The paladins returned from an Earth-based air show of the Lions, and froze at the scene around them, or in Keith’s sake, the smell around him.

“God, what is that?” He covered his nose with his hand, looking outright offended.

“It wasn’t me this time, swear it.” Lance automatically defended, but Keith shook his head.

“Not  _ you _ . It’s that fuckin’...what’s it called...”

Hunk took a long, exasperated breath. “Pumpkin spice.”

A shockingly large amount of candles were lit around the room, all bearing a bright orange label. Little air fresheners made into the shape of hot cups hung from the lamps, also in the bright orange hue. And in the middle of it all, Allura and Coran sipped their large drinks, pupils blown wide.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Shiro sighed, going around to snuff out the candles with his metal hand, “I even like the occasional pumpkin spice latte, but this is ridiculous.”

“Yeah, we gotta cut you guys off, this is getting ridiculous.” Lance agreed and did his part in taking down the air fresheners. Pidge was much more unsettled by this. She looked closely at her alien friends, not liking how their hands were jittery. She knew coffee jitters, and these weren’t it.

“Guys....I think they’re  _ drugged _ .”

That earned her many looks of confusion. Allura tried to brush off her accusation but jumped nearly five feet in the air when Shiro almost knocked over one of the candles. Everybody froze again.

“It’s like they’re on catnip, quinack...” Lance muttered as he waved his hand in front of Coran’s face. He barely followed it, desperately sipping at the drink.

Hunk blinked very slowly. “I guess we’ll have to wane them off like the rest of the world.”

  
  



End file.
